I Heart, Whiskey

I drink whiskey to remember. I drink whiskey to forget. I drink whiskey to remember the time we tried to forget. I drink whiskey after work. I drink whiskey before bed. I drink whiskey, and then I see red. I drink whiskey by inches. I drink whiskey by feet. I drink whiskey, and then I repeat. Whiskey is my agent of change. Whiskey is my keynotes speech. Whiskey is my long walk on the beach. Whiskey is my friend request. Whiskey is my status update. I was drinking whiskey, sorry I’m late.

LOL Politics

Hey advertising, are we in a recession?

If reading about it in the newspaper, watching it on TV, and tweeting about it wasn’t enough, advertising is here to remind us, *whisper* we’re in a recession.

“Now what?” Talk to Chuck, Charles Swhab.

Look! A financial institution with its finger on the pulse. Nothing slips by you guys. Oh wait, where were you two years ago before everyone lost their life savings? That’s right, you were convincing people to make risky investments, and purchase shit they couldn’t afford.

Ads talking about the recession are clever because it says, ‘hey, we get it too.’ Well, actually you didn’t get it. We saved your asses with a bailout. But you get it now, huh, Rick Wagoner Ex CEO of GM? We’re in a recession because you were socially irresponsible, and spent all of our money on hookers and blow instead of research and design.

Who am I to talk shit on corporate America? After all, they’re the professionals. Maybe if I put my money where my mouth is and make a prediction of my own. Well, okay, then. Hey Wendy’s, how does 3conomics work out when my insurance company has to pay $300,000 for a quadruple bypass? How does that affect the cost of insurance rates? Oh, hell. Looks like saving a couple bucks on food, isn’t an economical idea after all.

So next time advertisers think it's witty to say something like "Suffering from recessionitis?" fucking think again. You're too late. We're so over it.